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Monday, 13 August 2007

TAF Changes Lives--Part II

For the last two years of my life I have been searching for a place of acceptance and belonging at UC. As many of you who are close to me have known. I have tried many different things to try to find that hole in my life but I failed in many ways. I ended up hating those I was trying so hard to become friends with and as a result have almost no friends and have lost a lot of the self confidence that I carried throughout high school.

I decided earlier this summer, as a last ditch attempt to find some place of belonging, that I would return to TAF after a 6 year absence. This turned out to be the best decision I have made in a long time. I discovered a lot of things at TAF, but most importantly, I found myself again. As HoChie told me, "You have found your inner confidence and beauty---that I can see."

I feel that TAF has empowered me again as it had years ago. But once again, I am faced with a problem that has plagued me my entire life: my parents. Now, first, understand that I see all the good that my parents have done in my life and I know how much they care for me. But there are times that I try to jump out of the nest and it just feels that they hold me back. Those who have gone to school with me know that I am much smarter than that grade on the paper suggests. But they also know that I will work harder in school when there is something else I am passionate about. It is that spark that causes a chain reaction in my life. Well, I have finally rediscovered that spark in my life. Not only my undying love for Music, but my passion for my heritage and culture.

Upon returning from TAF, I realized that one of the mistakes I made in deciding to attend UC for college was that out of the roughly 35,000 students, less than 1,000 are Asian. So number one, I chose a terrible place to try to find that sense of Taiwanese community that I have lacked my entire life. Number two, I searched where I believed I would find belonging, i.e. organizations I have participated in previously. But I quickly realized that the values and morals that have been instilled upon me did not match those of the collegiate level in which I was now submersed. So this sent me into a downward spiral of becoming dependent on my boyfriend and perpetuating the anxiety and depression that was inevitable starting college and being thrown into a new environment.
TAF Changes Lives--Part I

TAF is a week where Taiwanese American "Freaks", like myself gather in a large conference and get hit on by really weird and scary football players who stare at us as if we are a museum exhibit. Flattering really. There are quite a few things I have learned this week.

1. When competing in any sporting event that includes a bet (such as, "Losers have to bring winners breakfast in bed!") do not make the teams Girls vs. Boys. Even something as "easy" as bowling... if you are female, you will find yourself bringing breakfast to the males laying in bed refusing to face the day until they've had their breakfast served to them in bed. (Side note: It's really fun saying in bed and really meaning in bed... *immature giggle)
2. Cooking ramen at 3 AM can be dangerous for several reasons: a) you're tired, bad for coordination b) you lack coordination in general, therefore lack of coordination is increased by roughly 4.67*10^79. c) lack of coordination + very hot soup in flimsy Styrofoam bowls=Gina with hot soup spilling down her shirt and burning her hands.
3. Never admit you have a TAF Crush on someone in your program when your program is a whole 8 people. You'll never live it down and be forced to stay up until 4 in the morning talking about it.
4. Personal hygiene often finds itself several spots lower than projects and sleep on the "To Do" list.
5. Juniors with dodgeballs are a reasonable source of fear. There is undoubtedly a "Secret Dodgeball Training Facility" that caters to the need of producing fear instilling dodgeball playing Juniors.
6. When campers realize that you are actually related to your siblings expect the phrase "You look exactly alike!!!!" Which would completely explains why my identity remained a mystery to them until I was interrogated.... because I look completely like my siblings and have the same last name.... apparently ideas don't click unless you aide in the clicking process! :)
7. Five people all over the age of 13 driving four hours in a Honda Civic is a reeeeeeeeally bad idea. It may not seem like a problem at first, seeing as the seats are not any smaller than economy seats in an airplane, but you quickly realize that airplane travel has the advantage. For one, there is a lot more cabin space. And it is also an option to switch seats while in flight if you're stuck sitting next to your little brother who decided to forgo the foreign idea of something called "brushing his teeth." 2) The overall space of the airplane gives the illusion of more space 3) You can actually just stand up and walk to the bathroom instead of having to wait about 20 mins to find an exit that has fast food restaurants. (Have you ever notice you ALWAYS discover that nature just seems to take it's cues from it's surroundings? You always have to pee when you're in them middle of a ton of cornfields or that nice long stretch of highway without exits or the exits show no sign of civiliation.)

So there you go.... the Seven Lessons learned from TAF!!

We will continue later with the "serious lessons" learned from TAF....

Sunday, 17 June 2007

hello..... i'm bored!

that's all! :)

Monday, 04 June 2007

YAY!!! i'm done with exams!!!!

now i'm booooooored....

nic's gonna be done with exams on wednesday... so i've had to leave him alone for most of the week.. which sorta makes me upset---but i understand... i'm a big distratction!!

my mommy's leaving for her china trip on monday... i'm gonna miss her lots... she's gonna be gone for a month and a half....

so i finished my exam today, had lunch with nic at the indian restaurant and then we went back to his place and fell asleep. and now i'm trying to find something to do for tonight......